Sunday 8 July 2012

Its a stand still


 Her eyes glued to the clock, winked not once
The clouds out are still and dark, shrouding sun
The kettle she forgot in the stove is whistling weak
 The wind is lost somewhere in wild woods, far
Her thoughts looked for wind, to wander far
No clouds spilled out those tears, bulging.

They couldn’t hold that thunder in the morning
Now it is dead silence, sun hesitant and clouds still
The thunder storm in the morning carried him far
Now she is looking for wind to trail the path
The clock is ticking, the only other rhythm
than her heartbeat, waiting impatiently…..

22 comments:

  1. you paint the moment well with the dark clouds, ticking clock and whistling kettle..hope that wind will come up soon to trail the path..

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    1. :-).....will he? Thank you so much.....

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  2. Wonderful, Sreeja. You have carefully selected the motion in nature that allows the pacing in our hearts. Waiting for the storm; there is no light, nor movement in the day when you are forced to stand still. I hope for more wind and for his safe trip home.

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    1. Thank you so much.....I too feel it now......

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  3. I enjoyed the poetic flow to the lines, Sreeja. You have given a vivid description with



    Keep writing! :)

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  4. Wow ... I would love to read more of it ... will there be a part 2 of this poem?

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    1. Thank you .......I feel like writing.....

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  5. def feel the tension of her waiting in this..and know how the time slips slowly by...i like your use of sounds the whistling tea pot, the wind....they really bring this alive for me...

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    1. Thank you.....I was in a mood to create a story.....

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  6. Nice use of the weather to create dead silence, still clouds and the waiting impatiently ~

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    1. The only weather hate I is this stand still one...I feel like spilling the rain out myself or wiping away clouds to bring the sun....its really hard...Thank you so much...

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  7. Well penned, Sreeja. You have used wonderful details to bring the moments of this poem alive. Your ending leaves me with a feeling of suspense. I wonder what she is waiting impatiently for.

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  8. Perfect take on the prompt...with the wind signifiying someone important - a partner? A lover?....and you use the elements to great effect, building mood and intensity and prompting the reader to ask questions.....I wonder if he made it back ok.....

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    1. Thank you so much for this support....oh should I write a second part......may be with another prompt...:-)

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  9. Thank you Mary.....she is waiting for her husband, who left in fury after a fight........

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  10. i hope for a happy resolution

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  11. Thank you for the visit...we can hope...

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  12. Poignant..I could hear the 'stillness'...:) Very well composed.

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  13. You let the tension build as her mind wanders and she remains still. . . not still, but staring . . . not wandering but trying to beat a straight path to the one who must--please, please---return! There is no patience here and hardly a breath. Wow.

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    1. Thank you Susan....you always catch it fully.....

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