Friday, 14 June 2013

A treasure

a drop from moon
and you left without words
a drop from moon                              
no flower did I found a boon
to save a piece of moon, my prize
cherished prize of flares, your glance
a drop from moon


A try at Rondelet, please visit dVerse poets pub for more information.

11 comments:

  1. nice up and down of emotion in this one...them leaving without words after what must have been such a magical glance...smiles...nice rondelet

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Sreeja. You've departed a wee bit from the strict rondelet form - lines 2,5 and 6 are meant to rhyme with each other - but you've written a fine poem by choosing to adapt the form rather than be constrained by it, and I think that's what poets should do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh i'd love to see moon's droplets... beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the refrain, a drop from moon ~ At the end, the refrain's meaning changed a bit ~

    Good to see you Sreeja ~

    ReplyDelete
  5. nice...a drop from moon...and sad on the leaving without words...

    ReplyDelete
  6. ...to save a piece of moon --- that i always did... lovely rondelet with a pin drop of sadness.. smiles..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Like how you used the moon to represent so many different aspects ...

    ReplyDelete
  8. I feel like like I am wandering through the night.

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's getting dark outside, and this makes me want to seek the moon's company - nice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like the feel of this, a drop from or a flare from moon, although I cannot grab the sense of it fully. Something is fleeting and there is no compensation, it is or is of moon. I'm tempted to see it all as verbal action, a slipping away. So hard to capture the moon.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The rise and fall of emotion...beautiful

    ReplyDelete