wild wind whispers close
your songs so distant and soft,
kissing through lush green, still moist!
Your songs, moist and soft
My heart bleeds eons of red roses,
cherished
ever, still moist!
The sedoka is an unrhymed poem consisting of two tercets with a scheme of 5-7-7 and 5-7-7 syllables, a total of 38 syllables.
Please visit dVerse poets pub to know more.
ha. best use of moist i have seen in a while...smiles...beautiful song you sing in your words...the longing is palpable as is the love...
ReplyDeleteLovely.. and the alliterations cater for a wonderful lyrical longing of love...
ReplyDeleteYou did such a good job mirroring the first and second tercets. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThe refrain in the closing phrases of lines three and six lend a musicality to this poem that speaks to the tradition of the sedoka. Wonderfully done!
ReplyDeleteVery romantic especially the second verse ~ Have a lovely weekend ~
ReplyDeleteThis is a good write... I like the use of alliteration in this as well. I really liked the first line- Wild wind whispers close. It starts this out strong and sets the tone for the rest. Good write! -Mike
ReplyDeletelove the lush green and eons of red roses...great work on contrasting colors to carve out the mood..
ReplyDeleteloved the textures of 'moist'
ReplyDeleteNew forms of poetry always excite me ... I will try this one too :-)
ReplyDeleteLoved the imagery and the softness here!
ReplyDeleteWant to try this, I have written haiku so far.
ReplyDeleteAnother Part of Me
So beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteEven a touch of wind can bring back a passionte moment. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDelete