An incomplete painting...
sun mellowed to a light orange blush…
Kitchen sink brims loud
with day’s unwashed dishes…
shadows started melting along//
with the skimming darkness…
but moon wasn’t that shy as i was…
she entered completely revealing me//
and the day lingering here and there…
it’s not that muse and moods eat you//
leaving hollows; i cleaned the lingering
day…
moon, she entered my canvas for me
to reach her with the fingertip;
time and thoughts are volatile, graceful//
and astonishingly constant…
Tried to show omitted words and opted silence with ellipses and small pauses for hesitating thoughts with caesura...hope it worked...
Visit dVerse for Meet the Bar with Silence!
Tried to recite the poem.... please click the link, not sure if it is audible, kindly pardon me!
Tried to recite the poem.... please click the link, not sure if it is audible, kindly pardon me!
I enjoyed your silence!
ReplyDeleteI think the ellipses worked extremely well. Omitted words is common in normal speech...
ReplyDeleteto use it in written poetry is very good.
You have created so much atmosphere in this, Sreeja. I love the mood and these lines:
ReplyDeleteshadows started melting along//
with the skimming darkness…
but moon wasn’t that shy as i was…
she entered completely revealing me
Wow. Hope to see you Monday at Haibun where the moon will make a showing.
beauty in silence
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the loving comments...!!
ReplyDelete