A crowd moving in high pace with long
strides and burning-
energy! But somebody there
was
walking back
with slow pace
and tired steps
and his face,
burned, yes burned! And his eyes
had a forest in them---
growing out to his face,
where his tongue was hanging out with
a
ticking clock that harmoniously
blended
with his heart’s beating---feeble;
a pumping heart of tear-clear-water---
blocked, a blocked heart!
And his fingers had that special big ring
from his beloved, her picture engraved,
marvelously, a blue and green sphere!
This is very deep. The ring sounds lovely, with a pic of his beloved in it. The imagery is vivid, his eyes, tongue, blocked heart. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteCompelling writing. At first the title does not seem to fit the poem, but then as the reader is drawn along toward its conclusion on feels, sees the strong sadness and understands. Well enjambed.
ReplyDeletereally intersting imagery...the tongue a clock ticking in time with his heart....lots you can read into that one....ha...the ring at the end is a great touch too bringing on the emotion...
ReplyDeleteA very creative way of capturing loss on the face...burned and eyes of the forest...Lovely share ~
ReplyDeleteYour approach adds to the mystery here... so vivid and emotive.
ReplyDelete"And eyes
ReplyDeletehad a forest in them-
growing out to his face,
where his tongue was hanging out with
a ticking clock that harmoniously
blended with his heart’s beating, feeble"
Always most effective and original images in your poems!
I look forward to each and every poem--and this mourning poem is right in there as if narrated by a person who stood there to watch for his passing by.
oh heck...his eyes having a forest in them and the ring on his fingers...so he's going back for her when everyone else walks the other way..dang
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, perhaps the ticking clock, this made me think of the work of Edgar Allan Poe. Good job with the enjambment. And, an aside, when I open your blog, I had to get up and get a handful of jelly bellies. See what you did!?
ReplyDeleteThe ring is earth, no?
ReplyDeleteA wonderful word whirlwind with enough of a shroud of mystery as to make the meaning flexible but not so much as to make it incomprehensible--great use of enjambment :)
ReplyDeleteYou have the power of turning your poems into a full fledged fiction ... you write with so much of power of imagination .... loved reading it !!!
ReplyDelete"And eyes
ReplyDeletehad a forest in them-"
This is such a poignant, breathless phrase, enough to make one's heart pause in recognition. Beautiful work, Chris. Very moving and all too familiar...
Loved it! :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it about earth...I yearn to know your feeling behind these lines
ReplyDeleteyes it is our earth. Think if she has got a lover, wouldn't he feel the same for what man is doing with her.....
ReplyDelete